Sheryl Crow, Talk Radio, Toilet Paper

BIRD BRAIN

Rocker's Loo-nacy Gives Talkers Something To Crow About







Pardon me, but can you spare a square?

On what could have been a slow news day, talk hosts have a bird- brained pop star to thank for lighting up their phones.

With rocker- turned- envirokook Sheryl Crow calling for a one- square maximum on toilet paper usage per potty visit, talkers went to town, blasting, spoofing and generally having a great time at the dim- bulbed singer's expense.

Thanks to Sheryl, show prep has never been easier, even if the subject matter was atypical for political talkers.

Talk titan Rush Limbaugh took calls on whether it was even possible to use only one square, while Laura Ingraham had her own on- air fun. And, at Hannity.com, fans yukked it up over Crow's bizarre enviro- weirdness.

Meanwhile, Internet sites were just as quick to pick up on the firestorm. Here's an interesting discussion from Lucianne.com.

From the BBC:

Crow calls for limit on loo paper


Singer Sheryl Crow has said a ban on using too much toilet paper should be introduced to help the environment.

Crow has suggested using "only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required".

The 45-year-old, who made the comments on her website, has just toured the US on a biodiesel-powered bus to raise awareness about climate change.

She teamed up with environmental activist Laurie David for the shows.

The pair targeted 11 university campuses to persuade students to help combat the world's environmental problems.

"I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming," Crow wrote.

"Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating.

"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting."

While Crow sits on her perch and preaches to the world about making it a better place, what kind of example has she set in her own life? As so- called "progressives" adopt her as their new poster child, they might care to take a peek into Sheryl's background.

From the San Francisco Chronicle, this damning 1996 expose (finally available in the paper's online archives) sheds quite a bit of light:

More Than `The Piano Player'

Dumped by Sheryl Crow after propelling her to success, brilliant musician Kevin Gilbert died before finding his own

JOEL SELVIN, CHRONICLE POP MUSIC CRITIC

Sunday, September 15, 1996


Los Angeles -- A black hood covered his face. He wore a black skirt. His head was slumped against a leather strap chained to the headboard of the king-size bed in the sparsely furnished living room.

Kevin Gilbert, 29, was dead. That much his manager could see peering in at the front door that morning last May.

(excerpted)

Gilbert was a prodigy musician from San Mateo who could play any instrument; colleagues invariably called him ``the most talented musician I ever met.'' To the rest of the world, though, his only real claim to fame lies in the credits to ``Tuesday Night Music Club,'' the 1993 debut album by Sheryl Crow.

``I saw something in Entertainment magazine that said Kevin Gilbert, the piano player on Sheryl Crow's record, had died,'' said songwriter David Baerwald, a member of the Tuesday club of the album's name. He paused, sadly shaking his head. ``He hated that Sheryl Crow record and that's all he's going to be known for. The piano player? Roll over, Kevin Gilbert.''

When Gilbert first brought his girlfriend Sheryl to informal Tuesday night songwriting sessions with his friends, he played a pivotal role in shaping an $85 million megahit. For her, the album brought three Grammys, stardom and an industry buzz that makes her forthcoming CD one of the most eagerly anticipated releases this fall. But for him, it was hardly a triumph. ``I don't know if I can ever forgive her,'' he wrote in his journal. ``I don't hate her -- I'm just soooo disappointed.''

In a way it's a classic Hollywood tale: Gifted boy artist meets girl artist, mentors her to success and is left in the dust -- equal parts ``Sunset Boulevard,'' ``A Star Is Born'' and ``All About Eve.'' By any measure, Gilbert's career was a fitful tumble of brilliance and happenstance, a series of near misses and one hit that wasn't his. And his Tuesday night cohorts describe Crow -- who refused to be interviewed for this story -- as a marginally talented singer who exploited his skills and theirs in a ruthless grab for success.

But this wasn't a movie, and so the real story is inevitably messier and more complex. As the circumstances of his death suggest, Gilbert had a dark side, a hidden face making him an enigma to his friends. There was a history of antidepressants, a string of journal entries registering acute self-loathing and doubt. Once, he wrote about feeling intimidated when meeting a well-known session musician at a concert. ``I suck,'' he wrote, circling the words for emphasis.

He had a promising start. As a South Bay teenager, Gilbert was given the run of Sunnyvale's Sensa Sound studio after hours; there, he recorded tracks with his progressive rock group, Giraffe. In 1988 he won the U.S. and worldwide finals of a talent contest run by the Yamaha piano company. One of the judges -- Pat Leonard, a producer for Madonna -- invited Gilbert to make a record in Los Angeles.

That album, ``Toy Matinee,'' sold nearly 200,000 copies in 1991, thanks in part to an MTV video featuring actress Rosanna Arquette (whom Gilbert had dated). Gilbert put together a road version that included his then current girlfriend on background vocals and second keyboard -- Sheryl Crow.

Making that album, Gilbert, at 21, met another record producer, Bill Bottrell, who became a kind of father figure. Bottrell brought him to sessions for Madonna and Michael Jackson; before long, Gilbert had sublet the space adjacent to Bottrell's Pasadena studio, Toad Hall. From there he set about recording his solo debut.

Drawing on all his perfectionist instincts, along with his ingrained self-doubts, Gilbert didn't just work on his record; he suffered over it, recording and rerecording, polishing, tweaking, rethinking, redoing.

(excerpted)

Crow had finished an album for A&M Records, but despite the $500,000 spent on it, nobody at the label was thrilled with the results. Hoping for a quick fix, A&M hired Gilbert to remix the album, which was, in the immutable illogic of the record industry, already scheduled for release. Crow's manager asked Bottrell to step in as well.

(excerpted)


For most of that year, Bottrell and his Tuesday crew -- now working all week long -- scrupulously fashioned and reshaped Crow's album. Because everything was a collaboration, songwriting credits were equally shared. ``Everybody was equal,'' said Baerwald, ``except Sheryl. She wasn't one of us. We helped her make a record.''

(excerpted)

After nearly a year of working together, all for one and one for all, the Tuesday Night musicians were shocked to learn they didn't figure into any more of Crow's plans. Bottrell got the news when he met her to hand over the finished master in a Sunset Strip coffee shop. Although there had been much talk of hitting the road together to promote the record -- bassist Dan Schwartz even bought a new bass for the tour -- ``she essentially told me to get lost,'' Bottrell said.

``I add Sheryl Crow to a long list of people in Hollywood who told me they were my friend until they got what they wanted from me,'' Schwartz said.

As Crow's relationship with Gilbert deteriorated -- apparently she turned her attentions to an executive at the record label, Baerwald said -- an increasingly bitter Gilbert threw himself deeper into his own album.

From this point, there's little doubt talkers are hoping for more headline- making from Crow, especially on slow Monday mornings. Keep squawking, noisy bird, you're a dream come true!


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